sunday october 2, 2011 - 7:00 pm
I came across this yesterday,its an incomplete draft of a letter to a loved one that never got sent. Its 14 months old. I was tryin' ta capture the best i had in a small space. I post it here as a detail in a snapshot.
Dear Loved One,
Just got off workin' my twelfth 12hr day in a row. You should have seen the letter i didn't send you a week ago. I wrote it at work in little snatches of time i grabbed in between runnin' the machine. It was about how time is accelerating as you get older. I'm sure i gave the scenario to you before.
At age one, a year is the same as a lifetime. At age fifty, a year is .02 of your life. At age one a year is the whole dollar, at age fifty a year is 2 cents.
Its like watching the broken white line on the highway start zippin' by too fast to even count. Except that in Life we accelerating non stop into a brick wall called death.
There is no arguing with it, there is no escape. Its like when they ask "What if you had only 24 hrs to live?" Which it is always anyway, one day at a time.
So ... i been workin' harder than i ever have before in my life to pay for a house, food, and transportation so that i can ... work harder than i ever have before in my life.
Now, in spite of appearances, there is a deep, vast goodness in there.
But to find it, you have to live it. That means examine your life. Watch the way you walk, talk, sit, stand. Observe the way you think, the way you interact with your environment and community - family, friends, strangers, co-workers and boss and on and on. See how it all works together. Examine your diet, your breathing, your habits, your mind - the whole living movement, all at once, silently without comment, judgement or fear.
To me, Life - Livin' - is something special in a way that most human beings are unaware of. Its a mystery far beyond what can be thought.
A man who lives in awareness is goin' towards freedom. If you see, simply, plainly, clearly, you will see this manifestatiion is momentary, and the things that matter most are intangible, can't be bought or sold.
Freedom implies responsibility. When you see what is, you can't turn away, thats you too.
They may have me enslaved for the time being. But they can't touch the source of the universe. The source of the universe is not "out there" or "way in the past".
The source of the universe is creating this moment and we cannot be separated from it.
There the draft ends probably because my head started noddin' and i stumbled to bed.